


Spiral of Ants

by profound_duplicity



Category: Dracula & Related Fandoms, Dracula - Bram Stoker
Genre: Blood, Bugs & Insects, Diary/Journal, Dracula (mentioned) - Freeform, Epistolary, Gen, John Seward (mentioned), References to Drugs, Vampires, i love my lil bug boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29687670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/profound_duplicity/pseuds/profound_duplicity
Summary: There were ants in my room today — clustered about my untouched meal and filing away in such neat little lines! I watched them carry away the meager amount of sugar I had been given for tea in their little trails, their parade. Beautiful creatures. So small, so insignificant.*Renfield has a realisation.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	Spiral of Ants

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning: this work contains references to disordered eating, so read at your own risk.

**From the journal of R.M. Renfield, patient at the Seward Sanatorium**

There were ants in my room today — clustered about my untouched meal and filing away in such neat little lines! I watched them carry away the meager amount of sugar I had been given for tea in their little trails, their parade. Beautiful creatures. So small, so insignificant. 

Everything is insignificant now, really. Everything but Him. How blind I was! To think that I once did not know Him, did not believe in all He could do, did not surrender myself to Him. Foolish, infantile Renfield! Perhaps I should tear my eyes from their sockets, for what they did not see.

Perhaps He would like that. 

Perhaps then He would find me worthy. 

I mustn't be impatient... He knows what is best for me, of course, and I am not yet ready. 

I am so dreadfully hungry nowadays, but food makes me ill. I think it is something in my medicine — the chloral, or the laudanum. I cannot keep anything down, not even the broth that Nurse Simmons brings me... The doctor's silly medicines don't work, anyway. He still visits me in dreams, gives me commands and sweet encouragement. At least, in His good moods. When I have done something to disappoint Him — which is often, I really cannot help it, not with my mind in the state it is — He does not visit, and I am alone, sometimes for weeks on end. 

My stomach hurts again, aches for something, anything to fill it. Those ants, damned ants, are allowed a veritable _feast_ while I rot here and _starve_. With their fat little sugar-gorged bodies and their bulging black-reddish heads. 

I know what I must do. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've posted to ao3, so I'm not sure how this will be received.  
> I noticed a distinct lack of Renfield content here, so this is my attempt to fill that void haha


End file.
